Sam vs. Evil Guy/Transcript
Chris: Last time on the Hunger Games simulator, Zeke O. Mikey Gargan, aka the ZOMG, got a taste of BrantSteele for the very first time. And just like with past additions to our cast, Dragonlord showed that he is not to be messed with. Cynthia: Now, we continue the story of Sam's Ultimate Prank. Scotty perished when Sam blasted him and the BBC 1993 Logo with his ultimate rage, and he was replaced by Warner Brock Sheldon, aka the WB Shield. Shaggy: We found out that Scotty's body was in Satan's Kingdom, and he was brought back to life! But his eyes are off... I wonder what happened to him? Chris: That's what we will find out about! Sound that horn! (In the bloodbath, Mario, Rooster, and "Scotty" got into a fight, with "Scotty" winning. Day 1.) Sam: Did Shaggy just say that Scotty is back from the dead?!? Oh my gosh I must find him this instant! WB Shield: Greg! I challenge you to a Pokemon battle! Mary: I was forced into this mess! I quit! Anna: I was told that if I injured Luigi, I would get something to drink... Shelli: Please ask Chris why they decided to bring in Katniss! Begone! Evil Mike: Ow! My face! Lily, you will pay for this! Evil Sam: Patty, you surely are the unluckiest player ever, lest you face this! Zira: Oh hi Turbo?! Did you need something to help you on your epic battle against Dragonlord?! Chris: Shelli! What the actual freak! You accidentally killed the drama character?! Now I have to reset this thing! (Later, after Chris reset the simulator...) Sam: Alright! If you say you really are Scotty, then eat spinach! I know Scotty likes this, so you will eat it! Now! (Evil Guy from within Scotty's brain sees this. He gulps, and eventually decides to take the spinach from Sam.) Sam: Yay, this must be Scotty! (Night 3) Evil Sam: Sam! You will really regret killing Scotty! By doing this, you no longer benefit from the power of love! Take this, you angry control freak! Chris: Evil Sam, no! By doing this, you will give WB Shield a chance of pulling off WB Shield Fools! Now I have to reset... again! Primarina: Do not reset, Chris! I will take down Evil Sam for you. Chris: Please do! (Later, after Primarina killed Evil Sam and later performed her victory pose...) Gary: I see how it is. Sam's journey to reclaim Scotty will be a long one. Diantha: Agreed. Zeke: I've noted Scotty's unusual hesitation during that last round... maybe someone is mind controlling Scotty?! Sam: Tantrum is in 5 4 3 2 1. NO NO NO NO NO DAMN DAMN DAMN CR*P CR*P CR*P YOU MEAN THAT SCOTTY NEVER REALLY CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND HE WAS BRAINWASHED ALL THIS TIME NOW I WILL KILL THE A-WIPE WHO DARED TO TAKE MY SCOTTY AWAY YOU HEAR ME I WILL KILL THAT A-WIPE A-WIPE A-WIPE A-WIPE A-WIPE!!! (Cue the explosion.) Warner: Sam, are you alright? Sam: I'm okay, WB Shield. The ZOMG changed everything for me... Mary: It's gonna be alright, Sam. You will win Scotty, so don't worry. Sam: Thanks, Mary. I feel better now! Chris: Sound the horn! (Night 1) Sam: Are you okay? I will tend to you right now. (Evil Guy sees this, and coughs.) Evil Guy: Romance sucks! I wish Sam and Scotty never got married, and Guy never got to hook up with Beulah! My Guy the Black emergency button system will never get me anywhere in romance, as the buttons activate at the worst times! (The next day...) Sam: Here, some sunflowers. Guy: Thanks Sam! If you want flowers, please don't give them to my evil twin! Evil Guy hates romance! That is, if Evil Guy is even in the cast... Sam: Chris, reset the simulator. I think I got something... Chris: Will do, Sam. (Later, after Chris and Sam reset the simulator...) Chris: I don't know what Sam is up to, but for now, let's watch the drama Scotty gets himself into by sounding this horn. (Night 1) Zira: I know what your problem is, Sam. Evil Guy is controlling Scotty, and so I am forcing you to sleep in the same bed as Guy. This allows me to get a closer look at Scotty and see if I can find Evil Guy from within him. (Zira sneaks away from Sam to see "Scotty" crying himself to sleep.) Zira: Are you okay? (Cut to Evil Guy, who is inside of Scotty's brain.) Evil Guy: I am okay, Zira. Earlier, I was forced to make out with Anna against my will. I almost puked, but I managed to swallow it. Romance sucks. Seeing a make-out session will make me want to puke, but sex, NO! I cannot take it if sex happens. (Three nights later...) Evil Guy: This stinks! I allowed Scotty to get away with sleeping inside of Anna's shelter! But this time, it won't happen again! (Cut to the outside world. Sam enters the scene, and sees "Scotty".) Sam: Scotty? Are you still there? I have something for you. "Scotty": Sam! It's you! (Evil Guy attempts to trigger mind control from the inside, but he was seconds too late as Scotty from the outside hugged Sam.) Evil Guy: (with green cheeks) Get this thing turned on already! I don't want romance! I want violence! Sam: Scotty! (his cheeks blush) Bed. Now! (Evil Guy's green cheeks turn green even further. He panics and desperately tries to turn on mind control.) Evil Guy: NO NO NO!!! No hugging, no kissing! I want violence! VIOLENCE!!! (As Sam brings "Scotty" inside his shelter, "Scotty" suddenly shakes up. His eyes flicker from black to red and back to black.) Sam: Scotty, you're just eager to get this thing started... (Sam goes inside the bedroom and shuts the door. Evil Guy sees his chance, and fully turns on the mind control. "Scotty" reacts to this by tackling down Sam in a glomp.) Sam: Oh Scotty! I know, I know! (he brings "Scotty" closer to him and kisses him) (Evil Guy sees this and jolts back in shock, turning off the mind control in the process.) Sam: Now Scotty! Let's have some real fun! (Sam takes off his clothes and motions for "Scotty" to do the same. After "Scotty" takes off his clothes, he was tackled by Sam onto the bed, with Sam on top of "Scotty".) Sam: I'm so glad you did this quickly, because this fun lasts all night! (Sam leans down and kisses "Scotty". By this time, Evil Guy fully recovers and is about to turn on mind control again, but he sees Sam and Scotty having sex. Evil Guy's face turns green.) Evil Guy: This is so sickening! Gross! Eew. Eeeeeew!!! (Evil Guy rushes to find the exit from Scotty's brain and gets out of Scotty's body. He runs out of Sam's shelter and attempts to find a bucket.) Evil Guy: Evil Sam! Evil Mike! Are you still alive?! I am in a real emergency here!!! (Evil Guy does not see Evil Sam nor Evil Mike. He whimpers, then goes off to a bush to puke. The next day...) Sam: I had so much fun last night... I wish the real Scotty were here to see this... (Scotty's eyes wake up for a moment, turned back to normal from the mind control. The eyes close again.) Evil Guy: Alright! Katniss! I am going to give you a serious lecture on why romance events are bad and you should never get assigned them! The first reason is- Katniss: Hold it right there! Evil Guy, are you the one trying to mind control Scotty and give Code LTIB a bad time? (Evil Guy slowly nods. Katniss responds by killing Evil Guy.) Katniss: That's what you get for doing such a freakish act! Raichu: Take this, you manipulative logo bastard... (Raichu zaps Evil Guy with Thunderbolt, defeating him for good.) Evil Guy: Curses! My greatest chance at claiming the power couple ruined! I fear for the Devil and She-Devil's reactions! Oh, my aching sphincter! Ow-ow-ow!!! Raichu: Sore loser, yes... Guy wannabe, no... Katniss: Thanks! Raichu: You're welcome! Evil Guy has been disposed of and you may resume the simulation round. Iris: Now we can see if we can bring Scotty back... (Later, after Chris and Iris brought Scotty back to the Hunger Games cast...) Mary: Scotty! You made it back! Zira: I knew you would do it, Sam. You brought Scotty back to us. Guy: Scotty is still in an unconscious state from the mind control madness, maybe even in a coma. We won't worry. Sam can find a solution to that problem as well. Chris: I hope Scotty wakes up soon, 'cause I'm about to sound the horn. (Several simulation rounds later...) Evil Sam: Ha-hahaha!!! The other tributes kept on trying to wake up Scotty, but nothing worked! Evil Mike: All for nothing! Scotty really is dead after all! Peach: Shut up, Evil Sam. Chris only allowed you and Evil Mike for the drama. Zeke: And shut up Evil Mike or I will have to send Bienvenida, Moe, Roy, and the Balloons over to teach you a lesson. Evil Sam: Don't throw a tantrum, Evil Mike. Zeke already caused Sam to throw a tantrum. Cynthia: Oh, and by the way, the failure rates from the Dune Bud Sand Castle Secret have increased five-fold. Dunstan: Secretii Tantrum... coming... on... NO NO NO NO NO COMIN COMIN COMIN CYNTHIA AND CHRIS I WANT YOU TO PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT MY SECRETII ALLIES OFTEN MOCK ME FOR HAVING THE EASIEST SECRET LEVEL ON SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE AND NOT TO HEAR ABOUT FAILURE RATES... TOTTIE WHEREVER YOU ARE I WILL HAVE TO TEACH YOU A LESSON ONE OF THESE DAYS... OOO YOU BASTARDS BASTARDS BASTARDS BASTARDS BASTARDS!!! (Cue the explosion.) Cameron: Dunstan, are you alright? Dunstan: Cameron?! When did you get here?! Cameron: Chris is wondering what a Hunger Games round is without me... so he brought me over here. Chris: Cameron, I know you so well. Get this next round started. (Several simulation rounds later... again...) Sam: (SUDDEN TANTRUM!!!) BWAAA-GH-GH OOOOOO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT WHY JUST WHY DO I ALWAYS DIE IN THE BLOODBATH I WILL NEVER EVER GET TO SCOTTY AT THIS RATE YOU HEAR ME I WILL NEVER EVER GET TO MY SCOTTY IF THESE BLOODBATH DEATHS KEEP UP GIVE ME A CHANCE FOR ONCE YOU BASTARDS BASTARDS BASTARDS BASTARDS BASTARDS!!! (Massive explosion!!!) Scotty: (he finally wakes up) Sam!!! SAM!!! Please speak to me!!! (Scotty suddenly gets hugged by Anna.) Anna: Scotty! You finally woke up! We all missed you! Scotty: I knew myself that I would return, I just had to give Sam time, and I would be back here in no time. Mike: Sam! Sam! Are you alright?! Speak to me! Sam: (he slowly opens up his eyes) I'm... I'm... I'm alright... Why does the Bloodbath have to be so cruel to me? (Scotty turns around and hugs Sam while he is still knocked down from his tantrum.) Scotty: Sam! I'm so glad to see you as well! I love you! Sam: (he pulls Scotty in for a passionate kiss) I love you too. Mary: So, do we forget about what happened two days ago because simply, April Fools'! Sam: No. I need something better than that. You see, I temporarily let my control freak tendencies get the better of me two days ago, and these control freakish behaviors made me prioritize taking care of the BBC Logo before saving Scotty. I was instead counting on someone else's arrival, a certain someone named Beulah Volkenburger, thinking back to my days as if we were in LTIB Bloopers. Guy: However, as Code LTIB, Beulah has me instead. Sam: You're right, Guy. I was having severe control freak sanity slippages after the events of Summary 71, and that's how Code LTIB got into the dead Scotty mess and the Evil Guy mind control mess. So, will you please forgive me? Mike: Sam. Sam. Sam. We will always be on your side no matter what happens. Mary: We easily forgive you. Sam: Thanks, guys. Evil Sam: So, it was all Dragonlord and Waluigi's fault you all got into this April Fools' episode?! Hahahahahahaha!!! Evil Mike: Waluigi had to kill Sam and Scotty, and then Dragonlord did his victory pose which plunged the arena into darkness. I agree with Evil Sam! It was all Dragonlord and Waluigi's fault! Sam: (SUDDEN TANTRUM AGAIN!!!) OOOOOH BWAAA-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DAMN DAMN DAMN CR*P CR*P CR*P CR*P CR*P CR*PPITY CR*PPITY CR*P CR*P CR*P IT WAS ALL DRAGONLORD AND WALUIGI'S FAULT THAT WE GOT INTO THIS MESS NOW I WANT TO KILL THE BOTH OF THEM FOR DOING THIS WALUIGI YOU ARE DEAD AND DRAGONLORD BETTER SAY SORRY FOR DOING HIS DARKNESS VICTORY POSE OR HIS ASS IS GRASS YOU BASTARDS BASTARDS BASTARDS BASTARDS BASTARDS BASTARDS BASTARDS!!! (Massive explosion!!! Again!) Evil Mike: Look at what you did! We better get out of here! (Evil Sam and Evil Mike flee as the smoke reveals Sam, who had the same appearance as in the aftermath of PS1 Bloopers 5.) Mike: Egad! What a temper! Mary: Evil Sam and Evil Mike had to change everything. Guy: Scotty, are you okay? Scotty: (tears swelled up in his eyes) Oh, nothing, Guy... Except for... (he breaks down crying) SAM LOST HIS HEAD IN THAT TANTRUM AND NOW HE IS THE ONE GOING BYE BYE, INSTEAD OF ME!!! NO NO NO!!! (crying) WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY SAM?! I LOVED HIM!!! JUST WHY?! AND NOW HIS SPIRIT HAS GONE UP INTO THE SKY!!! NOOOOO!!! Guy: I'd better get you out of here. You really care about Sam. (Guy takes Scotty out of the scene.) Mike: Now we take Sam out! (Mike and Mary carry Sam's lifeless body out of the scene.) Chris: Let's put up the That's All, Folks screen up now... I am really disturbed at what happened... Cynthia: Agree. We first lost Scotty as a part of the April Fools' prank, and now we lost Sam... (Chris and Cynthia put up the That's All, Folks screen. Sam vs. Evil Guy ends here.) Category:Transcripts